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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Letter to my Girlfriends: Smells like Teen Spirit



Is it possible for men to tell if a female is in a relationship? I was told that to guys, I smell like I’m married. My first response was it is a good marriage or am I headed towards divorce? But the comment did make me wonder, do I hold my nose up with an air that says: I’m attached?

My male BFFs and I went out to eat and one of my boys was trying to holla at the waitress. I was trying to enjoy my Blue Moon but I couldn’t stop laughing at his game, although she was giggling, smiling and clearly wasn’t focusing on the rest of her tables, I thought his lines were so corny. It started was the simple hey, how you doing lines, then it went into, “ I’m doing good boo now that I saw you, you know I came into this restaurant just to see you boo.” “You’re looking good boo, do you go to gym? O, we go to the same gym, how come I never see you in your fine gym wear?” He continued with, “You know how you can make my day even better? If you give me your number.” The pretty waitress shot my homeboy down, stating that she just got out of a relationship and was taking it slow so she wasn’t given him the digits to place in his blackberry.

Their conversation continued throughout our meal, with a promise to see each other again. I thought to myself, is this what all guys say to try to pick up girls? I mean although, the waitress was laughing and smiling, I couldn’t help but think how unoriginal and cheesy his lines were. When I told him about his whack lines; he proceeded to tell me that I wouldn’t know how to respond if a guy even hollered at me because I’ve been in a relationship for so long.

Sometimes I do feel as if there is a sign that glows and orbits around my head that says, “taken” but you can’t possible tell if I’m taken when I just walked into the club or I’m walking down the street. I told my homeboy I disagreed with his statement, I let him know that I wouldn’t know how to respond if the guy came to me with the same lines he given out. “Your fine gym clothes?” That statement is just laughable.

But why is it that some days, I get hollered at more than others? Does a girl who is barely 5 feet imitate guys? Maybe I don’t have a sign that travels with me but a certain savoir-faire, which may discourage guys from hollering at me. O, the woes of being a fly girl. Though, indeed I am taken, so I shouldn’t be worried about guys and their corny pick up lines but sometimes, I like to know that I still have the ability to attract guys, it’s a self-esteem thing. And I also worry about my fellow single fly girls; I would like to know that they still have dating options from guys who are truly interested in them and not using the same lines that they used on the last girl.

It’s like what Beyoncé said in her hit, “Upgrade Up U,”- “Sending me a drink ain't appeasing, Believe me, Come harder this wont be easy.” While, I’m sure my fly girls would enjoy a free martini, originality and being sincere is still the best pick up line.

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