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Monday, March 3, 2008

Letter to my Girlfriends: Ride or Die

Every man wants a ride or die chick, you know, the girl who bags up the bud, pushes the weight on Greyhound and then defends him in the courtroom, all for the love of her man. Sure, it sounds thrilling and exciting when Lil’ Kim speaks on how she bagged up bricks for Biggie or when Jay-Z states his love for his thoroughness girl, his solider, Bonnie. But in the wake of recently events around me, I am seeing that love can make females do some of the most idiotic things.

I have seen a friend who is the most outspoken person in the world, become so mum when her boyfriend speaks to her. He has called her out of her name numerous times to the point where he is verbally abusive, when he calls her a Bitch, the girl who was once outspoken and brassy never utters a response back.

Or my other friend who takes being a ride or die chick literally, from selling drugs for her man, bagging the drugs and then harboring his actions by allowing this guy to live with her.

Yes, we’ve all been in love before but there is a difference between being a ride or die chick to just being a silly chick in love.

A real ride or die chick isn’t a chick at all; she’s a grown woman who understands the meaning of holding her man down while simultaneously upgrading him. A real ride or die woman understands that even if her man doesn’t have much to his name, her loyalty and faith remains. A ride or die woman is so clever that she can turn her man’s tiny apartment into a place fit for a king, she rubs his back after a long day of work and lets him know that everything will work out.

A real ride or die woman shows her man that she is outspoken enough to go blow for blow with him, not only putting him in place if he’s stepping out of line but also showing him that she doesn’t take any lip from anyone, including him.

The real Bonnie to a Clyde is smarter than the average; she’s the woman who helps her man become the best he possibly can be. If he’s jobless, she goes through the city paper with him, if he’s stressing about work, she becomes his biggest cheerleader and listens to him vent about his bitchy boss. Bonnie in my 22-year-old opinion is a woman who can go to war with her man and bring the big guns.

Showing your unconditional love to someone is the best way to be a ride or die woman, but don’t fall in the category of being so crazy in love that you allow your man to step all over you. Show him your down with him by not only bringing out the best in him but showing him the best in you. The purpose of a relationship is bring out the best within each other and loving the person, flaws in all. Don’t become shadow in the relationship, stand by your man and that’s the best way for being a ride or die woman.

Check out one of favorite cut’s from Raheem Devaughn’s, Love Behind the Melody:

'Mo’ Better'

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