Letter to my Girlfriends: Love Thyself

At the end of my shift, my co-worker was pouting around the work place. When I asked what was wrong, she sighed and said, “I’m too skinny.” I tired to stifle my laugh but my tact was not in best form that night. She continued with, “do you think I’m too skinny? I’m sick of boys saying that I have no body. I try to gain weight but no matter what I eat, I can’t gain weight.” Now, although I laughed, it wasn’t funny because she was on the verge of tears.

I replied with, “I think you look fine, I wish that my biggest problem was being too skinny.” I continued by telling my svelte co-worker that being able to eat anything without gaining weight is an exciting feat, my co-worker looked puzzled. I said, “When I eat I worry if my meal is going to create more dimples on my thighs, so I haven’t enjoyed dessert in forever. I would be very excited if I could enjoy a chocolate mousse cake after every meal.” My luckily skinny coworker stated that, although she can eat to her heart’s desire without gaining a pound, she longed for the body I had.

How often do we wish to have something that another girl has? Whether, it’s another girl’s long flowing thick hair, her almond shaped eyes, or the girl with the model strut who walks effortless down the street in her 4 inch heels as if it’s her runway, or the girl who exudes confidence or even the girl with the boyfriend? As females, there is always a girl that we wish we could become for just for a couple of hours or even a couple of days.It’s not that we are unhappy with ourselves, we just envision better versions of ourselves.

For example, I’m short (really, I’m 4’11’’) and although, I can wear heels all the time without towering over my date and I can skip lines because no one ever notices the short girl, I sometimes wish I were taller. At least, 5’8’’, I mean for one, I could model at that height and for two; I always wanted to be the girl that commanded everyone’s attention when she walked into a room. Instead, I have to find other ways to seek my own self-indulgence of attention. I have to speak a little louder to get notice and I have to dress just a little funkier to grab the attention of guys because in a sea of tall women, I feel that I get lost in the crowd as the lil’ stumpy, girl who looks 12.

What about the days when you feel un-pretty, and you notice the girl next to you in the coffee shop has gorgeous skin and you sigh because right now your skin is misbehaving. Or the girl in your class, who can give a speech in front of a group of students without breaking a sweat or stumbling over her words, as if she was born to be an orator, while you shook uncontrollably throughout your speech.

Those days, I wish I had magical powers where I could pick and choose others’ assets and add them to myself. After hours of self-loathing, I realize that everything, I am not makes me everything I am. If I could Harry Potter every aspect of myself, then how could I possible be unique? When I walk into a room everyone will not notice me, but if they hang around the hors d'oeuvre, they will notice and remember my crazy water cooler talk, so what I lack in height, I make up with coolness and wit. If I was 5’8’’, then would I still be stylish? I would probably not wear my funky BCBG heels because then I would tower over guys. And no more line skipping for me, I would always have to stay in the back of the line because everyone would notice my 5'8'' self trying to skip the line.

Loving yourself is the best quality, a girl could ever have. Learn to embrace every curve; your thin but healthy hair and your skin that sometimes does not agree with you but constantly glows. You’ll realize that your confidence in being the best you, makes you the girl that others wish they could become.